There's only one Keano

I know I’ve been posting recently that Ramos should stay and that he’ll straighten things out soon. After the last two games I’ve got to change my mind. He seems lost and doesn’t appear to have any answer for the predicament we’re in. We don’t look like we’re improving, so the excuses about new players, doesn’t wash. We don’t have any leadership on or off the pitch. Levy’s pride will no doubt stand in the way of getting rid of Ramos and there’s no chance that he’ll walk so my guess is we’re stuck and the only ones who can get us out of it are the players. But who of those Lillywhite Wonders is going to take the bull by the horns and rescue us? Answers on a postcard to J. Ramos at WHL, N17. If Ramos was to get the elbow, what about Roy Keane as his replacement? A Boyhood Spurs fan (and we know how Irish Keane’s love to join their favourite teams), Keane has all the fighting spirit we need at this time. He seems a class act and earned huge respect for his results as a manager and the way he has conducted himself.

Sitting Bulls are Standing

At last, something to smile about. The perennial underdogs, Hereford beat Carlisle last night and moved off the bottom of League One. As with Spurs, it all comes from confidence. Hereford got dicked by four at Oldham last week but have now kept two clean sheets at Brighton and at home to a Carlisle team who nearly made the Championship last term. Graham Turner said after last night’s game that he could see the confidence returning to the players. If Spurs could keep a clean sheet or two you only need to snatch the odd goal and things start to tick. Sounds easy, dunnit? I see that Dawson might get a couple of games added to his three game ban for the manner in which he questioned the refs decision – Newcastle didn’t exactly take Baye’s red card against City with the grace of God, but it looks like he might get his card rescinded. It’s a funny old game – how we could do with the inventor of that quote at the Lane. I watched Man U last night and Berbatov is starting to look like the player we used to love. However, he wouldn’t have scored them two goals last night for us, because they’d have been given offside!! And finally, no one seems to have mentioned the fact that Darren Bent has scored more league goals this season than Robbie Keane and Berbatov put together.

We need a leader

So the old horse cart called Tottenham keeps rolling uncontrollably down hill with a big shitty pond waiting at the bottom. We need someone to jump on and grab hold of the reins, but at the moment I can't see anyone trying to. In the scheme of things, the performance against Hull was a lot better, but however you look at it, we're bottom and have just been beaten by Hull. They're only the third biggest sports team in Hull, yet they've raided London for the second time in a week with a swag bag of six points. Their win against Arsenal was a bolt out of the blue which surprised everyone, but sadly, the win against Spurs was on the cards. We do a prediction league in work and apart from one girl, everyone had Hull down for an away win - including me. I know we're not supposed to quote Gary Glitter nowadays but how I would love one of the Spurs players to stand up and shout, "I'm the leader of the gang, I am". We know that guy isn't Jenas and Ledley is too far removed at the moment. It's enough for him to concentrate on fitness without the added burden of carrying a team back from the brink of hell. I'm a bit surprised that Woodgate hasn't stepped up to the plate in that respect. I rate him highly but I'm a bit concerned buy his new trick of holding back the opponent's goalie when he's tacking a kick - picking up cheap bookings which might rule him out of some big games down the line. It's not all doom and gloom though - I heard today that the last time we had this bad a start, 96 years ago, Arsenal got relegated.

C'Mon Eddie Cochran

Rock 'n roll legend Eddie Cochran would have been 70 today. The problem is the poor sod was killed in a car crash at the age of 21. The orginator of C'Mon Everybody, Somethin' Else and Summertime Blues to name just three, he was years ahead of his time and will never be forgotten. If Eddie would have been a Tottenham player, he'd have been Jimmy Greaves.

Worse than our socks

When the camera focused on Wendy and Gus at the dying stages of the Pompey game today, I was reminded of Dads Army’s Corporal Jones giving it the “don’t panic, don’t panic”. At what stage do we start to panic though? What I find the most worrying is that after about a dozen league and cup games, Ramos seems to have no idea what his preferred line-up is. After watching the last couple of games I know what my preferred line-up is, but I don’t think Hoddle, Ardiles and Chivers are eligible. Can anyone tell me why Lennon is on the left and Dos Santos is on the right. The worst thing that could have happened to us is Lennon creating a goal from the left in mid-week. He’ll be playing out of position there for months now. With Zakora having one of his better games why the hell did he get taken off when Jenas was having one of his many shitters. If poor passes and lost tackles were air miles, JJ would have more frequent flyer miles than Biggles. When goals are required should we really be replacing Pavlyuchenko with Bent, not trying them in tandom? What does Esso-Ekoko give us, apart from palpitations. The only positives I can think of are that Woodgate, Corluka and Dawson played well and the weather in Bont was overcast so it didn’t seem a waste sitting in the house watching tv. The Spurs crowd were fantastic, out-singing the Pompey faithful from start to finish. I thought it was funny when they were singing love songs to Defoe as he lined up for the penalty, and the stick they give Campbell is relentless. The next two league games bring us Hull and Stoke, both of whom will get amongst us and see what we’re made of. Is Spurs v Hull in the beginning of October really a six-pointer? If we lose those two games we will be up shit creek without a paddle, or a boat, and I don't want to alarm folks but I don't think anyone's bought a map. But, football being football, if we win them both – we’ll forget we ever had this conversation and we’ll start thinking about how to break into the big four. Sky Sports are bigging it up how Ramos is under fire. Sure he’s making mistakes but for the club to truly move forward they have to get rid of Comolli. He’s the muppet who buys and sells. He’s the guy who sold Berbatov, Keane, Defoe and Malbranque, and he’s also the guy who saw something in Taraabt, Tanio and Kaboul. With the risk our underestimating our problems, could it just be the socks? Has there ever been a good side who played in hooped socks?

Kicking off again

A Chelsea supporter who work's with me said this morning "Christ, your man Modric looked shit last night". Who gives a dman I said, he'll have a better game than Essien this weekend. Because really, as a fan, all you want during international breaks is for your players to come back unscathed. So Corluka gets roasted by England, so what, I'd rather that than he gets skinned by Villa on Monday. For what it's worth, I saw the two Wales games against Azerbizhan and Russia and we have got two quality players in Gunter and Bale. It's been obvious to everyone that Gareth Bale is going to be world-clas, but I've been so impressed by Gunter as well. On Saturday he was up and down the flank and he puts in a good cross as well. Unfortunately for Wales, ole Pav did the biz as well. I can't wait to see him behind Modric and Bentley.

Cock-a-doodle doo

This weekend was a strange one. At various stages of Saturday both Tottenham and Hereford were bottom of their respective leagues, yet the overriding feeling is one of success. Hereford put their terrible start behind them with a much needed three points at home to Crewe. Two well taken goals have given the Bulls a welcome confidence boost that lifted them two places but still in the relegation zone. Spurs also got off the mark with a hard fought point at Stamford Bridge. The Spurs showed great resolve and we seem to have put the Chelsea hoodoo behind us. I liked the way we closed out the game with authority – composed on the ball and never really in danger of losing it. From a Welsh point of view it was great to see Bale and Gunter starting. I also loved Gomes, after Robbo it’s great to have a keeper who comes for crosses and his tip over from Lampards chip would have been a a goal last season. I don’t want to tempt fate but the days of panic and self-destruction against the big boys seems to be a thing of the past. Ramos’ cool disposition is rubbing off on the squad. Just watching Villa against Liverpool, there’s nothing there to be scared of but with Spurs, you never know.

Things can only get better - hopefully!

Don't you just love football. All summer longing for the season to start and then when it does you wish it hadn't bothered. Between them, Spurs and Hereford have played 6 and lost all of them. For Spurs is just the usual frustration of not being at the races early enough but for Hereford it's a bit more serious. 6-1 to Bristol Rovers is worrying. That shows a lack of defensive quality and a weakness in mental strength and belief. No team should concede six to a team in their division. Graham Turner is looking for some new signings or loan deals during the next week and Spurs hope to get a replacement for the pathetic Berbatov. Surely he won't claim his wages for last week.

Snap, Crackle and Pop

I was watching the Wales Under 21 team last night against Romania and although we lost we played some great football. At the forefront of the display was Gareth Bale who was immense. He's got a wand of a left foot, he's fast and he gets up and down the flank all day long. It just amazes me that he was on the bench on Saturday. Surely he's got to start against Sunderland. He might be the wierdest looking footballer since Luke Chadwick, but fack me, that can't be why Ramos left him out. Thinking about it, Bale looks like one of the kids on the Rice Krispies packets from years ago. I was pretty impressed by Gunter who looked strong and quick and could be a good buy for us in years to come. He might be a work in progress but Bale is boxed up and ready to go - so pick him Juande, that left foot is like Phil Mickelson's lob wedge.

Back down memory Lane

When I was growing up, my dad used to take me to Tottenham at least once a season and we used to go to away games in the Midlands which were only an hour or two away. As I got older I was playing football every weekend so didn’t go to the Lane for about twenty years, except for a Screen Sport Washing-Up Liquid Data Matrix Super Duper Cup semi-final 1st Leg against Everton in 1986. Then on the 13th March, 2004 I went back. I was banging on about it for weeks before hand and was like a dog with two dicks the day of the game. I went with the Jones Boys, Bill and Phil and my cousins husband Glynn from Presteigne. It’s about a six hour journey one way from my house but boy is it worth it. Walking from the car to the ground has a wonderful feeling – you’re full of anticipation, excitement and you end up giggling at just about anything, the way guys do that women just don’t get. I can remember seeing the cockerel on the High Road and the turtle heading starting. After a couple of hours shopping in the numerous club shops and a few beers it was game time. Walking into the ground and seeing the field of dreams takes your breath away. It looks so perfect. The stadium looks brilliant and the pitch is like the proverbial bowling green – "if you can’t play on that boys you can’t play on anything." How many times I heard that over the years – the thing is, it’s bloody perfect for the opposition as well. The most notable change over the years is the big screen presentations before the game which are handy for showing the team news but on the downside they stop the build-up of the crowd. The announcer only shuts up ten seconds before kick-off. so there’s no time for the crowd to get singing and getting all hyped up. Anyway, we won 1-0 thanks to a Liam O'Brien own goal, in off his nose probably. But the best thing was that Phil and Glynn got to meet their idol – Chirpy. Ah, happy days.

It's All Forlan Apart

We’ve all been encouraged to chase our dreams and to go for the top. Set out with great ambitions and you never know – you might reach them, but even if you don’t you can look yourself square in the mirror knowing you gave it a shot. Well, that’s probably what Daniel levy is telling himself as another summer of world-class centre-forward chasing bites the dust. It’s involved two classy Russians and even yesterday there was talk of Spanish sensation David Villa coming to White Hart Lane. Today’s papers are reporting the harsh reality that we might have to settle for the former Man Utd striker who moved to Spain - yeah, Ruud van Nostrelhair I hear you scream, no sorry, Diego Forlan. We need to just hope Darren Bent can somehow transform his pre-season form into the Premiership. Pause for a slight cough.

As pretty to watch as any Arse.

After watching our friendly against Celtic yesterday and then seeing the Woolwich Wonderers lose to Juventus today I feel good about the coming season. I know you can't judge too much from friendlies, they lack all the drive and purpose of the real thing, but we look like we're starting to keep the ball. We've got ball players all over the park who all seem comfortable in possession and can beat a man. The one thing I admire about Ceth Fibreglass is that he hardly ever gives the ball away. With possession being nine tenths of the law, it's a good trait to have. I think we've got players like that now with Modric and Bale looking particuarly good. The situation with Berbatov is obviously key to how we progress this year. Bent looks lively and whilst he banged a shed load in against Orient and Norwich, we surely need a world class replacement for the sulking Bulgarian if he moves on. Arsenal don't look that much different to us, so why can't we have a crack at the top 4? Anyway, the annual smell of pre-season optimism has filled my lungs again - only two weeks to go until the cold shower of realism and a 1-0 away defeat to Boro.

From Russia With Love

It's seems a bit ironic that for a team who hate the reds so much, Spurs are bidding for two Russians, Roman Pavlyuchenko and Andrei Arshavin. With Berbatov and Keane dead certs to go, Spurs are in danger of having their worst strike force since the golden (make that goalless) days of Colin Lee and Ian Moores. So while the chance of us landing the Ruskies is remote, we've got to have some false hopes to keep us going. Both would be around the £20 million mark, about the same as the two scabby turncoats from Sophia and Cork. Almost inevitably for a summer whose main event was held in Switzerland, these transfers revolve on timing. Teams can't buy until they sell, and can't sell unless they're guaranteed to buy, the vicious summer circle. Heard a funny thing the other day, whereby someone was saying about if surnames are named after jobs (eg. Shoemaker, Farmer, Blacksmith, etc), what the hell was Arshavin's dad doing.

What heartaches lie in store? - 2008

There’s nothing quite like the anticipation of a new season. Everyone starts from scratch and for the last time you’re level on points with Man United. The long summer months have dragged along with never ending transfer sagas that usually end in disappointment. I quite like the fact that the teams I support are never expected to win anything – okay Spurs think they should but they very rarely realise that expectancy. I’m the eternal pessimist when it comes to my teams, I always assume they’re going to lose which should soften the blow when it happens, but it doesn’t quite work like that. Anyway, here’s what I’m looking at for the coming season.

Tottenham Hotspur – As the time of writing, Berbatov and Keane are still with the club but both are heavily linked with moves to Man U and Liverpool respectively. We all expected Berba to be gone as soon as the final whistle went last year but to lose both of them could cause us some major difficulties up front, especially with Defoe gone and Bent likely to head to Sunderland. There’s talk of Santa Cruz and Bentley coming from Blackburn, but that could just be talk. We’ve nearly signed some brilliant players over the years!! Luka Modric looks a good signing if he can stay healthy but I know nothing about Dos Santos. Keeping Ledley King fit is vital – a back four of Hutton, King, Woodgate and Bale with Gomes in goal would be very competitive. As usual we’ll probably have a poor start with the autumn and winter spent trying to get back into the top half. Prediction – 6th.

Hereford United – Watching Hereford live is so much more rewarding than most of the Premiership games I’ve been to. There’s a realness to it - it seems to matter more to the players and the fans. It harks back to the days of hot bovril and a pie at half time. You stand behind the goal at Edgar Street and there isn’t the sanitised feel you get at the big games where you get reminded every five minutes to sit down by some headmaster – yeah, come on, sit down, where do you think you are, a football match? Last year I was convinced we were going to get relegated when Graham Turner could only register four players in preseason. But we kept going, always staying in the top four. With every win I was thinking that its all good to have the points in the bag before the inevitable slump. The last thing we needed was to go back to the Conference - consolidation was everything. Come the end of the season we just kept going, winning promotion with a week to spare. If we were punching above our weight last year, this coming season we’ll be like Alexander Hleb going against Gazza in a pie eating contest. You never know though, Graham Turner has an amazing knack of bringing in young talent and producing almost a new team each season. My heart says we’ll survive but my head says we’ll struggle. We drew and beat Leeds last year but it’s different in the cups, and they'll probably finish fifty points above us. Prediction – Relegation.

Tennessee Titans – Last season the Titans made the play-offs after a heavy loss of players preseason. They’ve got a quarterback in Vince Young who has the potential to be one of the best in the NFL but last term the Titans were exactly an offensive outfit. To make the most of his talent the offensive co-ordinator needs to up his game and get some points on the board. Defensively they were sound but there looks to be uncertainty about Albert Haynesworth which would be a bit blow if he left. Prediction – Play-offs via a Wildcard.