Worse than our socks

When the camera focused on Wendy and Gus at the dying stages of the Pompey game today, I was reminded of Dads Army’s Corporal Jones giving it the “don’t panic, don’t panic”. At what stage do we start to panic though? What I find the most worrying is that after about a dozen league and cup games, Ramos seems to have no idea what his preferred line-up is. After watching the last couple of games I know what my preferred line-up is, but I don’t think Hoddle, Ardiles and Chivers are eligible. Can anyone tell me why Lennon is on the left and Dos Santos is on the right. The worst thing that could have happened to us is Lennon creating a goal from the left in mid-week. He’ll be playing out of position there for months now. With Zakora having one of his better games why the hell did he get taken off when Jenas was having one of his many shitters. If poor passes and lost tackles were air miles, JJ would have more frequent flyer miles than Biggles. When goals are required should we really be replacing Pavlyuchenko with Bent, not trying them in tandom? What does Esso-Ekoko give us, apart from palpitations. The only positives I can think of are that Woodgate, Corluka and Dawson played well and the weather in Bont was overcast so it didn’t seem a waste sitting in the house watching tv. The Spurs crowd were fantastic, out-singing the Pompey faithful from start to finish. I thought it was funny when they were singing love songs to Defoe as he lined up for the penalty, and the stick they give Campbell is relentless. The next two league games bring us Hull and Stoke, both of whom will get amongst us and see what we’re made of. Is Spurs v Hull in the beginning of October really a six-pointer? If we lose those two games we will be up shit creek without a paddle, or a boat, and I don't want to alarm folks but I don't think anyone's bought a map. But, football being football, if we win them both – we’ll forget we ever had this conversation and we’ll start thinking about how to break into the big four. Sky Sports are bigging it up how Ramos is under fire. Sure he’s making mistakes but for the club to truly move forward they have to get rid of Comolli. He’s the muppet who buys and sells. He’s the guy who sold Berbatov, Keane, Defoe and Malbranque, and he’s also the guy who saw something in Taraabt, Tanio and Kaboul. With the risk our underestimating our problems, could it just be the socks? Has there ever been a good side who played in hooped socks?

Shocker Soccer

Having just endured the Newcastle game, all i could think was, thank god I haven't got Satanta. I know I'd have watched the Krakow and Villa games and wasted another four hours of my free time. The first half of tonight's game was probably the worst game I've ever seen, and I've seen Dolgellau play Tregaron! Tottenham were so padestrian I thought for a spell the Newcastle shirts were zebra crossings. Poor old Pavlyuchenko made so many runs to no avail he must wonder what the hell he's done by signing for us. I was so happy for him to get the goal. We looked much better when Dos Santos came on and injected a bit of pace and directness. Do you watch Strictly Come Dancing when the pros are on and make it look so easy and then the celebs have a go and they look like piss-heads on the floor at a wedding - well watchuing those two teams tonight was the latter. We are miles behind Arsenal and Chelsea. They're the Anton Dubeck and we're the John Sargeant. Surely the time is right to ditch Zakora who just isn't up to it. It's great to be joyous after a victory, hey. After conceding 10 in two games I'll bet Harry Redknapp can't believe his luck he's got us next. 0-0 anyone?

Things can only get better....surely.

When is the best time to get a toothache - when you've just broken your leg. The pain doesn't hurt because you've got bigger things on your mind. That's probably why I wasn't that bothered last night, after another casual performance giving an almost inevitable defeat. My mates been taken into hospital and seeing him lying there sort of reminded my of Spurs at the moment. They look pitiful and you can't do anything to help them. At least my mates on a drip that keeps popping little bits of help into him, Spurs are just dying a slow, gradual process. It's our worst start for over thirty years when we managed to avoid relegation by one point at the expense of Luton!! Serriously though, I can't see us staying in the bottom half once we start to get some shape, but you wonder if Leeds fans told themselves this a few years ago. Headline of the week so far has to be the Sun who referred to the carrying on's at Newcastle as "Sid James' Park". Mind you, they're not bottom.

So long, farewell....

This week was supposed to be all about saying goodbye to heroes. Thursday 11th was the Stray Cats in Manchester. The Stray Cats were my heroes in school and my love for them has never diminished. I've supported all their solo projects and seen them live a couple of times before. This tour though is billed as their final tour and was therefore something I couldn't miss. The reviews have been great from shows acroos Europe and anticipation was high. My neice was even going, she's only 14 and loves the Cats, the future generation if you want. Then, disaster strikes, as Slim Jim falls off the stage at the end of the London show and breaks his arm in three places, causing the remainder of the tour to be cancelled. Next comes the final one-day game of my favourite cricketer of all time, Graeme Hick. I've watched him hundreds of times and he is outstanding, absolutely brialliant to watch. I've seen him punish bowlers to the point where you almost feel sorry for them - almost. Anyway, before the big day comes, Worcester is under 9 foot of water and the game gets moved to Kidderminster, which isn’t beig wnough for the members never mind the general public. I'm just glad Elvis Presley isn't alive to play Pele in a farewell game of head-tennis. I could imagine I've got front row seats and then the world ends. The pathetic old line, ah well, there's always tomorrow doesn't work with farewell shows and games. All you got left are the memories - thank God they're precious.

Kicking off again

A Chelsea supporter who work's with me said this morning "Christ, your man Modric looked shit last night". Who gives a dman I said, he'll have a better game than Essien this weekend. Because really, as a fan, all you want during international breaks is for your players to come back unscathed. So Corluka gets roasted by England, so what, I'd rather that than he gets skinned by Villa on Monday. For what it's worth, I saw the two Wales games against Azerbizhan and Russia and we have got two quality players in Gunter and Bale. It's been obvious to everyone that Gareth Bale is going to be world-clas, but I've been so impressed by Gunter as well. On Saturday he was up and down the flank and he puts in a good cross as well. Unfortunately for Wales, ole Pav did the biz as well. I can't wait to see him behind Modric and Bentley.

Shut that window

So after all the hoopla, the transfer window is shut for a few months and teams have to make do with what they’ve got. Along with the shock transfer of Robinho to Man City, the two biggest transfers of the window were Keane and Berbatov going from Spurs to Liverpool and Man U respectively. We got good money for both, I was especially pleased to see us hold our nerve with Utd and get over £30million. Assessing it in the cold light of day I would say where probably stronger than we were when last season finished. Goalkeeper wise, we are looking good. Gomes looks a great capture, he’s got a great presence and looks like he’s commanding his box. Defensively we lost Kaboul, Gardner, Lee and Chimbonda which although not everyone’s cup of tea, they were certainly good cover. In place we signed Corluka and the early signs are that Gunter is stepping up to the plate. We now have more quality but a rash of injuries could put us in the shit a bit. In the midfield we are definitely looking strong. It was a shame to see Malbranque go but the introduction of Modric, Bentley and Dos Santos has more than softened the blow. Up front we lost a couple of quality strikers but signed the Russian Pavlyuchenko and got Frazier Campbell from United. I really liked what I saw of Pavlyuchenko in Euro 2008, and thought he was a better signing for us than Arshavin would have been. Arshavin is more like Modric or Dos Santos, Pav is a proper centre forward. I don’t know much about Campbell but my mate is a big Utd fan and he reckons he’s quality. So we’ll see what happens, it’s just a shame that the international break is here.

Cock-a-doodle doo

This weekend was a strange one. At various stages of Saturday both Tottenham and Hereford were bottom of their respective leagues, yet the overriding feeling is one of success. Hereford put their terrible start behind them with a much needed three points at home to Crewe. Two well taken goals have given the Bulls a welcome confidence boost that lifted them two places but still in the relegation zone. Spurs also got off the mark with a hard fought point at Stamford Bridge. The Spurs showed great resolve and we seem to have put the Chelsea hoodoo behind us. I liked the way we closed out the game with authority – composed on the ball and never really in danger of losing it. From a Welsh point of view it was great to see Bale and Gunter starting. I also loved Gomes, after Robbo it’s great to have a keeper who comes for crosses and his tip over from Lampards chip would have been a a goal last season. I don’t want to tempt fate but the days of panic and self-destruction against the big boys seems to be a thing of the past. Ramos’ cool disposition is rubbing off on the squad. Just watching Villa against Liverpool, there’s nothing there to be scared of but with Spurs, you never know.

Back In The USSR

Finally some good news. It looks like the we are actually going to buy a centre forward after Spartak Moscow have confirmed that striker Roman Pavlyuchenko is poised to join Tottenham. According to a club spokesman, "A deal has been agreed between the clubs and the transfer may be concluded by Thursday". The 26-year-old is still in Moscow awaiting a visa that will allow him to travel to London to complete the move. The bit I love is the sentence, "Everything has happened very quickly so I could not even say goodbye to my team-mates". Can you see Berbatov giving a shit about saying see-ya to Dawson and Boetang.

Things can only get better - hopefully!

Don't you just love football. All summer longing for the season to start and then when it does you wish it hadn't bothered. Between them, Spurs and Hereford have played 6 and lost all of them. For Spurs is just the usual frustration of not being at the races early enough but for Hereford it's a bit more serious. 6-1 to Bristol Rovers is worrying. That shows a lack of defensive quality and a weakness in mental strength and belief. No team should concede six to a team in their division. Graham Turner is looking for some new signings or loan deals during the next week and Spurs hope to get a replacement for the pathetic Berbatov. Surely he won't claim his wages for last week.

Snap, Crackle and Pop

I was watching the Wales Under 21 team last night against Romania and although we lost we played some great football. At the forefront of the display was Gareth Bale who was immense. He's got a wand of a left foot, he's fast and he gets up and down the flank all day long. It just amazes me that he was on the bench on Saturday. Surely he's got to start against Sunderland. He might be the wierdest looking footballer since Luke Chadwick, but fack me, that can't be why Ramos left him out. Thinking about it, Bale looks like one of the kids on the Rice Krispies packets from years ago. I was pretty impressed by Gunter who looked strong and quick and could be a good buy for us in years to come. He might be a work in progress but Bale is boxed up and ready to go - so pick him Juande, that left foot is like Phil Mickelson's lob wedge.

Wenger's eyes let him down again

You gotta love, sorry, loathe Arseole Venger. He was apparantly quoted in the Times yesterday saying he is surprised by Great Britain's achievements at the Olympic Games. "I didn't know the English were good at swimming," said the skinny guy with the turtle's face. "I have been in this country for 12 years and I haven't seen a swimming pool." I got news for you Arse, we've got thousands of British footballers as well, but you don't seem to see many of them either. Then again he's become a standard joke for not seeing things. I'll tell you something he hasn't seen for over three years - silverware! And I reckon iof he'd of pushed Martin Jol any further a couple of years ago he definitely would have seen a swinging right hook from Big Mart.

Tell me why, I don't like Saturday's

Looking on the bright side, I see we moved up two places on Sunday! It was on the cards that we'd lose to Boro, we're always shit away from home. Why can't we ever start a season off with a cushy home game against Fulham or Wigan? What really cheeses me off about Saturday was the bench - I don't care that it was made of plastic not a more environmentally friendly wood, it was the people sat on it. If Berbatov is sub because of his attitude, just sell him and let's get on with it. Then there's Ledley King, if we're resting him at this stage of the season, God help us. We're not playing for a week, surely he could recover in that time. Sat next to Ledders is Gareth Bale. He probably would have been our player of the year last season if he hadn't picked up an injury, but now he can't get in in place of Esso-Ekotu or whatever he's called, who had a mare. Come on Oneday, get your best players on the park and let's win a few games before another season falls away before October. On top of the Tottenham debacle, there's Hereford who have played two and are yet to get a point. I knew this was going to be a struggle, I just wish we could have kept Wayne Brown - we would have picked up three points at Orient with him between the sticks. A bit early to panic but the alarm bells are being tested and the batteries are fine.